Glinda Does Some Surfing
by GelNimbus
Summary: While using her ‘computerbox’ Glinda uncovers some 'interesting' things in the wondrous world of Fan Fiction dot net, and shares them with Elphaba.  Just a fun dumb oneshot.


**Glinda Does Some Surfing**

**Disclaimer: Wicked doesn't belong to me.**

**This is dedicated to my girls at The Bored Author's Society!**

Unbeknownst to the multitudes of fans of "Wicked", computers and other assorted forms of "Other World" technologies were widely used in Oz. Mr. Baum, Mr. Maguire, and Mr. Schwartz simply chose to omit said fact believing that it would just make things a bit too confusing.

Anyway, one cool autumn evening, Glinda Arduenna of the Upper Uplands sat staring at her strange "computer-box", as she liked to call it. Her peculiar roommate, Elphaba Thropp, sat straight as a board on her bed, deeply absorbed in one of her millions of science textbooks.

"Oh Elphie I must tell you, I have recently discovered a most peculiar interwebber page on my computer box! It is called, 'Fan Fiction dot net.'"

"Glinda, my dear, you know I really have no interest in that infernal glowing box." Said Elphaba flipping a page in her gargantuan tome.

"I know that, but people are writing stories…about us!"

Elphaba, from behind the valleys of print, raised one of her angular eyebrows. "Stories?"

"Yes! There are over one thousand of these stories! I am unsure, and, I must admit, a tad unsettled about how these all authors know about us, but strangely…I find it quite flattering!"

"Have you read any of them?" Queried Elphaba, placing her book by her side.

"I've read many actually. I do believe I might have a slight…addiction to these tales."

Elphaba rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Ahhh but the question remains; are any of these stories actually of literary merit?"

"Well, I quite enjoy the story about how I come to rule the fashion empire of all Oz. There is one where I receive puppies and kittens for Lurlinemas! Oh! And my personal favorite is the one in which I save a carriage full of orphans from careening off of a cliff!"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "How about any stories that are a tad less…Galinda-fied?"

"Oh come off it, you're just jealous." Glinda squinted her eyes as she scrolled through the seemingly endless list of stories.

"Ah ha! Here is one about you Elphie!" She began to read out loud. "Elphaba and Fiyero admit their feelings for one another…wait…WHAT!?"

Elphaba stifled a laugh. "Are you serious? Me and that buffoon Winkie Prince?"

"Whatever." Glinda muttered under her breath as she continued to sift through the various summaries. "Elphaba and Fiyero…Fiyero falls in love with Elphaba…Elphaba and Fiyero get married…Elphaba and Fiyero have children…Fir…fier…fer…feraba…fiy…aba…ibba? What in Oz does _that_ mean!?"

"Jealous much?" Said a snide Elphaba with a wicked smile.

"Oh shut it. There's bound to be one about Fiyero and I!" Glinda trains her gaze upon the screen as she puts her entire focus on her quest.

Five minutes pass…

"Any luck?"

"Please shut it…Oh! Here!" Bouncing up and down at her discovery she begins to read from the summary. "Glinda and Fiyero fall in love at Shiz!" She turned to stick out her tongue at the green girl. She continues to read the summary. "They are about to get married when…Fiyero begins to fall for Elphaba…and ultimately they end up defying gravity…together." The last words sounding rather dejected.

Elphaba took a bite out of an apple she had sitting on her night stand. "I rest my case." She walked over behind Glinda and peered over her shoulder at the screen.

Elphaba read a few of the summaries. "Well, here's one about Nessa and Boq. Oh and somebody has written one about you and Boq…And here's another…" Glinda felt her blood pressure climbing. Elphaba pointed one of her skeletal fingers at the screen. "And another. And look! They all use the same word…'Gloq' Oh how clever, an amalgam of you and your dearest Boq's names!" Elphaba chortled.

Glinda, clearly agitated by Elphaba's quips, swatted the laughing green girl in the arm with a nearby notebook. This only made Elphaba laugh even more.

"Why do you get so much adoration from Fiyero?!" Pouted the blonde.

"Why not?" Laughed Elphaba. "Either way, I couldn't care less about the frivolous fantasies that these strangers are having about us." Elphaba took another large bite of her apple. "Look at this one!" She pointed once more at the screen.

Glinda read aloud. "The Wizard falls deeply in love with…GLINDA!? How does one find this remotely plausible!? I wouldn't dare date a man of his age, let alone that crazy Wizard!!"

Slithering like a snake, the sides of Elphaba's mouth curled into a contemptuous smile. "Give the poor man a break Glinda! Look here is one about you and Nessa. Fancy that eh?"

"Elphaba, you know that would never happen. Nessa thinks me to be the very antithesis to the Unnamed God. Being in a relationship with me would be blasphemous to her!"

"Very true." Elphaba pulled up a chair alongside Glinda, sat back and rested her legs on the desk. She continued absently taking bites of her apple.

"Here is a story about a romance between Madam Morrible and Doctor Dillamond…"

And silence fell like lead upon the two girls…

"EWWWWWWWWW!" Both shouted in unison before erupting into uproarious laughter.

"Look this one is about us! Awww! We are such good friends aren't we Elphie?" Smiled a giddy Glinda, giving Elphaba a small hug.

"I think you're misinterpreting this Glinda. It says 'Gelphie'." She pointed to the offending word. Glinda's eyes went wide and she looked at the green girl. Elphaba scrolled up and down on the page. "There seem to be as many of these as there are stories about Fiyero and I."

They looked at each other in silence. Elphaba was the first to speak. "I don't think we'd last one week as a couple. Your maintenance costs alone would run my assets dry. I do adore you as my friend my dear, but I am not sure if I could handle you as a significant other." She patted the blonde's head playfully, as she stood up. "These stories are quite juvenile. I'm going to read my science texts again. Though it has been fun indeed." She walked over to her bed once more.

"Wait a tic tock Elphie. There is a story about someone called…OC. And apparently this OC not only steals Fiyero's affections from you, they also take mine, take over all of Oz, and kill you. Oh how delightfully arrogant of this author!" Glinda's body shook from the multitude of amusement she currently held bottled inside her small body.

"WHAT!?" Elphaba stormed to the computer screen and opened the story. "Name: Gelyanya Nimbus…Age: 17…Favorite Band: Fall Out Boy? What does any of this mean? How dare they have the audacity to publish a drivel such as this. Why did this person have to kill me? Why not Boq? No one can fell me!" Elphaba seethed through her teeth, every vein in her neck protruded. Her hands were white-knuckled where she gripped the edges of Glinda's desk.

Glinda smiled as she stood up, turning off the screen. She placed a kiss on Elphaba's cheek. "I don't see how it would be difficult to defeat you. You're just a big green bag of hot air." And with that she left the utterly annoyed Elphie, to deal with her own emasculation by herself.

FIN


End file.
